December 2011
Play
Play
November 2011
That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitch hiking serial killer.
- Killer: Turn down that dark road.
- Rapist: I was planning on it.
Nicki Minaj style rap #1
YOU A LITTLE STUPID BITCH. FRONT LAWN. GNOME.
GIMME SOME MOTHA FUCKIN HEAD. DOME.
THIS SHIT WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY. ROME.
I’M REAL ASS SHIT AND YOU STYRA. FOAM.
YOUR INTERNET EXPLORER AND I’M GOOGLE. CHROME.
DAMN, I’M IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ HOUSE. HOME.
SHOUTING INSULTS THEN PUTTING RANDOM WORDS AT THE END OF EACH SENTENCE MEANS I HAVE TALENT. PIGEON.
I want a mini Martin Freeman
He can live in my pocket and live off biscuit (cookie) crumbs and tea.
And I can take him out in times of stress or when I need something sweary.
I can haz Christmas?
I need to know who wants to exchange holiday cards with me. If you’d like one from me, please email, FB message me, or text me THIS WEEK so I can order enough from the printer.
“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up becuase if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
—Marilyn Monroe (via mylifeasjaneill)
Secret panel can put Americans on kill list' | Reuters →
reuters.com
American militants like Anwar al-Awlaki are placed on a kill or capture list by a secretive panel of senior government officials, which then informs the president of its decisions, according to officials.
There is no public record of the operations or decisions of the panel, which is a subset of the White House’s National Security Council, several current and former officials said. Neither is there any law establishing its existence or setting out the rules by which it is supposed to operate.
What the actual fuck. It’s time for a revolution.
“I remember reading a piece by Harold Bloom where he explained that audiobooks were not books because the proper experience goes in through the eyes. The reading experience is only an ocular experience, not an auditory one. That had me sitting there thinking about old John Milton, who obviously was not a proper writer at all because he couldn’t even see what he was writing. He was dictating it to his daughters who wrote it down. What kind of a faux poet was he?”
—http://www.salon.com/2011/11/23/neil_gaimans_audiobook_record_label/singleton/ (via neil-gaiman)
Update: need to leave for work in 11 minutes, still in bed and updating tumblr from my phone instead of attempting to get dressed. #thisismylife
Need to leave for work in 13 minutes. Still in bed. #thisismylife
Is the 9th Doctor your favourite? Also, I enjoy your blog, but have you ever posted a photo of yourself on it?
The 9th doctor is and always will be MY doctor, as he was the first exposure I had to the Whoniverse. I’m rather partial to 10 though. Matt Smith has yet to sell me. I like him, but I don’t know if he’s quite “The Doctor” for me.
I think i may have posted a pic at some point? I’ll post something soonish. Working on a new Thanksgiving hat/fascinator, so I’ll have a reason to cam whore soon anyways.
To anyone else reading this: follow this guy, my Tumblr totally has a crush on his.
All you deserve is AD CACARE*.
In the great mystery that is life, I’ve come to this very simple conclusion:
No one deserves anything. Ever.
Good, bad, indifferent, nothing is deserved. It’s a matter of what you’re willing to fight for. What you’re willing to go after. You don’t deserve that raise any more than your ancestor deserved to get eaten by that bear. He got eaten because he didn’t pay attention (poor old great-great-grand-uncle Bob). If you don’t have the tools to accomplish what you need to accomplish, you need to acquire them. There’s no excuse for you to be where you are, lamenting about the dish life has served to you when you are fully capable of getting up and grabbing whatever the fuck you want.
Honestly, I know far to many people that throw up their hands and accept what they have. I used to be one of them. “What’s meant to be is meant to be.” That’s not the case. There is never just one answer to any problem of life. If you can’t reach your goal one way, get to it another. And then try another. And another.
On the flip side, sitting around in wonderment as to what you did to deserve some windfall, you are just as full of shit. There is no fate. There is no grand plan. There is YOU, and what you have grabbed from life.
The irony of this is that this song has gotten me through so many hard times, and it’s just NOW that I fucking get it.
Life has happy, and sad. We’re lucky enough to get both, if we want it. If we’re willing to wake up every morning and fucking FIGHT for this shit. The act of survival has gotten so easy for us in the first world, so fucking easy, that we’re left wallowing in ennui. I don’t have to spend my entire day grubbing about for twigs and berries in order to live. I can drag leftovers out of the fridge or pay a burger jockey to make me food. Thing is, life isn’t meant to be so easy, and if you don’t have SOMETHING to fight for, you won’t be happy because you’re not fulfilled. All of the emptiness you feel, the lonliness, the stress, the unhappiness, it’s because you’re doing it wrong.
You don’t HAVE to go to work, you GET to go to work, and what’s more, you get to kick your jobs ass. Don’t like your job, fight for a new one. Aren’t happy in your relationship? Figure out why and fix it, or throw it away and find a new one. Your goal should never be “How am I going to stick to X?” It should be “How am I going to kill this mastadon of doubt and achieve my dream.”
Always.
Look, this is a huge concept that’s kind of hard to explain, so I’ll leave you with this:
TL;DR: You are the only thing that is needed to make your life work. If you aren’t getting what you want, change your strategy. Throw away the doubts, feelings, habits, belongings, jobs, and people that make you hate your life. Trim off all the fat till you’re a lean, mean, life-loving machine, and you’ll be REALLY winning, not Charlie Sheen winning.
*ad cacare = latin for to shit
